New Yorkin'

Started work this week in the big city. It ain't all that bad. Some highlights:

- Saw two improv shows, both free, one of which included Kristen Schaal, who plays Mel on Flight of the Conchords. She was phenomenal.

-Been to 4 birthday parties in one week. I don't get it, everyone has seemed to have their birthdays in the past couple of weeks. If i count 9 months backward, it means that all these people were conceived around the beginning of November (around the time of my birthday). I guess having sex on Nov 4 is like the new "new years baby" type fad. I guess I make a conscious effort to have sex on my birthday as well, so I can't blame 'em.

-Saw some standup, then today I performed standup. That was fun. Except there weren't many people there for the open mic I was at, and they all were sitting in the back of the room. So I think I heard laughs, but most came from a short asian creature who laughed at everything, even the not funny stuff. So I don't know if I was good, but at least I tried.

-I'm a working man. If anyone works near 19th and broadway, so either union square park on one side of me or madison square park on the other, lets meet for lunch. I am a hungry boy.

-I FORGOT TO PROMOTE MY WEBSITES, I made these this summer for fun, check them out and tell your friends:

exactlywhatshesaid.com
* the worlds foremost authority on "that's what she said"s

beautymarkormole.blogspot.com
*A celebrity rating site for voting on celebrity skin blemishes.


tell your friends that I blog. I want hits so I can become famous and live off of people who pay me to promote shit on this site.
Jared, out

Air Canada deserves bankruptcy and STDs

I used to love Air Canada. They used to speak in English and French, and they used to treat me with respect. But today they fucking sucked. First, I went on an international flight with the shittiest in-flight entertainment since the Amelia Earhart days. No personal TVs, just a fuzzy projection of The Game Plan (featuring the Rock), A Beautiful Mind, and a shitty sci fi movie called Stardust. The most entertainment came from Kahan and I mixing sleeping pills with beer, which led to him passing out and me staying awake the entire flight.

Then they fucking lost my bag with all my clothing. They still haven't found it. I think some girl named Mir Ronen from Highland Park, IL stole it cuz her bag was still there and looked like mine. You suck Mir. I may never wear my "Emory was my safety school" shirt or my CWP hoodie again. All I have right now in Israel are my sheets, my computer, and my rollerblades. So pretty much, the essentials.

Other than that, we've been chilling with Tali Zipper and eatin some shawarma. Our apartment is pretty nice, but Kahan can't sleep cuz the family next door is fighting in hebrew. The walls are thin, so I'm excited for the day that they stop fighting and Kahan gets to hear the sounds of sweet sweet love making. Good night world.