More exciting: 5-4 Rockies or 3-2 Big Bangers?

Tonight was a big night. The Rockies won to tie the NLDS at 1 game apiece...but they already had the lead in the 9th and didn't lose it. They won the old fashioned way, having a lead and maintaining it through the end of the ballgame, no biggie.

NOT SO MUCH WITH THE BIG BANGERS. Yes, our kickball team had the lead in the bottom of the 9th, but a double by some white guy on the other team led to a tie ball game going into extra innings.

It was intense. A playoff atmosphere. And when Bergson kicked a single to bring home Modz's friend Amelia, anarchy broke loose. I can honestly say this was the most exciting sporting event I've been a part of in years, so YAY that we won.

As far as the rest of the night goes, we all went to a bar nearby and took over, with two tables of beer pong and plenty of random karaoke singers surrounding us. After a couple hours there and people trickling in and out, I left alone, to find myself outside of a chic club with a guy named DeShawn and a girl named Shawnda....no relation, i promise, i asked.

I went in by pretending to be "a friend of Bergson," who is not only not a big shot, but wasn't even at the bar or had ever heard of it. Ha, i don't know how that worked, but I only stayed for 2 minutes. I walked out to a tall blonde kid who freaked out when he saw me. I guess we went to Washu together, but i had no recollection of who he was. I just kept calling him bud or bro, which worked like a charm. I hate my frickin borderline alzheimers, i really wish i remembered him.

Next, I walked down avenue A until I ran into a bunch of cameras and lights flashing. I was guessing some sort of photo shoot, then i noticed two girls arguing with a guy. I didn't like his attitude. So I stood up to him on their behalf. They liked that. I'm a mench. He sort of sucked, but after they left, we talked for a while, and he likes StreetEasy. That's what I like to hear.

jared, out

Clever Lyrics

http://hypem.com/track/925598/Wale+ft+Lady+Gaga+-+Chillin+METERHEAD+REMIX+

"I got the right to be cocky
Get so much cut disc jockeys jock me...
You N**** mad cause you not me
I remain a GIANT while your Jeremy Shockey "

clever. i like it.

When did I get attractive? DID I get attractive at all?

My whole life I've been told I look like either Frankie Muniz or Gene Wilder.





I never saw the resemblance in either of them. And they weren't exactly complements. However, in the past 6 months I've gotten more confident in my looks due to new comparisons I've been made aware of.

First, in Israel Tomer told me I look like Clive Owen. Then, last night, Tigh from Online Marketing Group (OMG for short) told me I look like Jake Gyllenhal.





I don't see it. But my confidence is much higher than it was when people called me "Frankie."

I've aged significantly in the past 2 days

Yesterday wasn't exactly a good day. I got a call around 10 that we didn't get the apartment we applied for, which was the perfect place in the perfect location with the perfect couch, yada yada yada. Anyway, during my phone conversation with the real estate broker, I found myself trying to frame my situation by saying:

"I should've kept looking for other places. You can't put all your eggs in one basket."
and
"I guess I shouldn't have assumed I would get the place. You can't count your chickens before they hatch."

When did I turn 50? And what's with this obsession with chickens? New York really has fucked me up.

Having a reckless friend makes life that much funnier

While a lot has happened over the last week or so, I figured it would be more fun to only post two stories about my friend Sam Zuber this week. Sam is an amazing person, but two things he did set him apart from anyone I've ever met and show me why I love him. Even people who don't know him will fall in love based on these stories. Here goes.

Story 1: Friday night, we are at the bar on the roof of the Rivington Hotel at around 3 am. Bob and I are on the dance floor having a good time when we pull out the classic "ball game." For those who are unfamiliar with this phenomenon, the "ball game" involves pretending like you are holding a ball and rolling it around your body on the dance floor, "passing" it to your friend in absurd manners whenever you feel like you have exhausted your creative juices. It seems stupid, but it's a great way to communicate to a girl that you have a sense of humor without ever even saying a word. Whatever.

Bob and I were communicating well, and a random girl was succumbing to our initiatives to the point where it looked like Bob had a chance. Bob and I had some telepathy going and started a mini baseball game, and he threw me a fake ball, which i "hit." Sam, out of nowhere, jumps out of the crowd to try to catch it (note that he wasn't even involved in the game at this point). In doing so, he spills the girl's drink all over her and literally knocks her to the floor. We would've been mad, but I'm pretty sure his response was "hey, I caught it!"
Ridiculous.

Story 2: It's sunday night, and I'm sitting on the couch where I currently reside. Sam calls me. Here's how the phone call goes:

"Jared, did you watch the VMA's?"
"No Sam, why do you ask?"
" Ok, so here's what happened. They were doing best female video, and the nominees were Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift (lists the nominees, because they were clearly relevant for the story). And guess who won? Taylor Swift! So she's giving her speech, and then this RANDOM BLACK GUY runs on the stage and takes her mic from her!"
"What?"
"Yah! He just starts talking about how Beyonce should have won! It was crazy!"
"Wait, who was this guy?"
"I don't know, just some random black guy who must have been on drugs or something."


The fact that Kanye West is one of possibly the 15 most recognizable African Americans in the world of entertainment. Gotta love Sam.

Speaking of Kanye, at the Owl City concert last night (which was AMAZING. this song was sick and the opening DJ, Unicorn Kid, was awesome) Taylor Swift showed up--the pic is below. I convinced a 15 year old kid next to me to start a "Fuck Kanye" chant, which didn't exactly pick up, and actually was picked up in the blog I mentioned in this morning's post...don't ask how i found that. I'm just a wizard with internet crap.

Overall, having fun in NYC, applied for a great apt at 13th and 1st today with some good roommates, so hopefully it works out. Go Rockies!

I'm famous! Sorta.

http://twitter.com/harvilla/status/4018646803

Yah, me kmodz and rachael convinced a kid next to us to start that chant....and I found this link on a music blog today. Ha. More stories to come.

Homeless Wisdom

While walking to lunch, a homeless man on a stoop looked at me and yelled

"Hey! If a woman is 20 years old and not married..."

(pausing, thinking about it)

"Then shes a Lesbian."


Oh, New York.